Meet Tiara Nicole Riley
Updated: Sep 16, 2020
Where are you from originally? Where do you live currently?
I was raised in the DMV area but currently located in Charlotte NC!
How would you describe yourself? (mentally & physically)
I would describe myself as passionate about positively impacting the lives of others. I am a caring and supportive person who aims to live a life of service. I'm passionate about mental health and self-care, because without it all other areas of our lives are worse off. I've struggled with depression, suicide, and grief after miscarrying twins, I use my story to help others survive the same challenges.
What makes you unique? What draws people to you?
What makes me unique is my commitment to transparency and my push for openly discussing taboo subjects. I'm willing to talk about absolutely ANYTHING!
What draws people to me is my ability to help others. I'm a healer and people are drawn to that because of my encouragement, support, and motivation. I'm a very straight forward person who gives honest feedback and loving accountability.
Tell us a time that you were in a terrible place/mindset? How did you overcome? How do you keep from going back to that ugly place?
One of the darkest times in my life was when I lost my twins in 2016. I found out one was dead on my 25th birthday and the other died 3 weeks later. Additionally, I'd lost my job, I was struggling financially, I'd lost the relationship with their father, and my interpersonal relationships were suffering. I was literally at rock bottom.
I overcame by starting with an absolute commitment to surviving grief completely. I did any and everything necessary to ensure I was healing from the grief and was dogmatic about creating a productive life after a devastating loss. For me, this included therapy every week, journaling, exercising regularly, coloring, solo vacations, and anything else I needed to find peace.
I keep from going back to that dark space by reminding myself of the promise I made to my twins in the hospital. When I walked away from them, I made a silent promise that I would spend the rest of my life living in their honor. I would live a life they would be proud of and that the pain attached to that loss would have purpose. Every day since I've moved closer to that promise and it pushes me through the challenges I face.
If you were given a stage to speak on anything to better this world, what would you talk about and what plan of action would you put in place to make sure it happened?
As a Motivational Speaker, I have the honor of speaking on a variety of topics. One subject that I'm most passionate about is self-care for Black Women. We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and do so while placing our own needs at the bottom of the to-do list, if it's there at all. I'm hoping to change the narrative of self-care being a luxury and instead it should be viewed as a necessity in order to extend self-preservation.
How do you make time for yourself and manage to keep yourself a priority?
I take my self-care very seriously and it's how I manage my challenges with depression and grief. I take at least 1 day off to simply rest; I start my day with my first 2 hours focused on myself and my needs. I wake up, journal, and exercise to start my day on the right food...then I concern myself with allllllllllllllll the things others need from me.
I keep myself a priority because it's what I require of myself. Because I'm such a giving person, I have to ensure that I give to myself FIRST! Then with the time, money, and energy that's left over is what I give freely to others, without any need for reciprocity. When you pour from a cup that runs over, there's no need for anything in return...my cup is still full!
Lastly, I'm intentional about how I spend my time and energy. I'm very comfortable using the power of my "no" and that allows me to lovingly extend my "yes" when appropriate. I also make an intentional effort to mind my business! So much of our stress comes from things that have nothing to do with us or things we have no control of. Learning to care about the problems of others without carrying the emotional weight of their problems has contributed greatly to my peace.
How does your talent/services help others? Why would you recommend you to others?
My services help in a variety of ways.
As a motivational speaker I am able to provide transformative conversation that always includes actionable steps to move forward.
As an author I have published 3 self-help novels all providing honest and transparent conversation on taboo subjects such as depression, self-love, perseverance, miscarriage, and healing.
As a business coach I help my clients one-on-one through guidance and accountability to walk them through strategic planning. I provide them with tangible steps for creating structured sustainability within their growing businesses! This is my most impactful service because I'm able to sit down with clients and have a customized conversation tailored to their particular needs.
Tell us a song, a verse, a motivational video and/or person that keeps you motivated lately. Why?
Savage Remix x Meg Thee Stallion & Beyoncé
The whole song just gets me going! The first time I heard the song...I immediately went for a run! But can we talk about GIRL POWER...because the song is DRIPPIN w/ it! I've been a longstanding fan of Beyoncé (not quite Beyhive level), and I love me some Meg...but something about hearing them together in one song gets me going!
How do you feel about the STATE OF WOMEN these days?
I can't really answer that from a generic stance, but I can speak for Black Women...because that's who I identify as. The state of black women is that we are collectively TIRED! For so many reasons and I need us to begin to take the superwoman cape OFF! We deserve rest, we deserve peace, we deserve love, and we deserve our desires. For far too long we've been focused on what NEEDS to be done, it's time we focus on what we WANT to be done!
We need to be seeking out therapist (preferably those that look like us). We need to be processing our past traumas and finding healing. We need to take care of our bodies. We need to care about our minds. We need to...because the next generations depend on it. If you can't say "no" to anyone else, at least say "yes" to yourself.
Shoutout a woman that you can't help but cheer on because she is doing the DANG THANG just like you. (provide her social media and or email if possible)
I have soooooo many business besties who are all doing some DOPE things in this world! All of their IG profiles are:
Just to name a few! I absolutely love being connected to so many dope people doing dope things in this world. It's one of my greatest gifts!
What advice would you like to share with the world?
Chase your dreams fiercely! There is someone connected to your purpose that is waiting on you to do the very thing you were placed on this earth to do. How long are you going to make them wait?
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